Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
