The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
