i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize