did you get engaged???
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
