hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
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i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
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Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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