I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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