yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
