is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
