i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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