I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
