Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
