Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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