I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize