The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
