got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
