Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
