I must be too annoying 4 u.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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