i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
