i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
