i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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