trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
