I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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