first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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