Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
