you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
