I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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