is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
