Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize