i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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