yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
