I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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