I'll bet she douches with gravy.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
