from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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