it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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