Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
