I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she told me i tasted like america
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I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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