Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize