Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
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I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
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I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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