id be glad to
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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