My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
