I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
