I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
