So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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