Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i barfeds in our rink
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Its about making memories worth repressing
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
