Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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