I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
