Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
