i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
