i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
