This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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