wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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