he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
