If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
