I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I want a musical about memes.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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