the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
