Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
