She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
