I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
