I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Randomize
