If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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