Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
